The Third Wheel
by Beelsebutt
Summary: It is the day of Ron and Hermione's wedding, and Harry is Ron's best man but how he wishes to be so much more. Harry/Ron slash implied. Prologue for 'Without Grace'. Pic by raitakarkki.


**A/N:**

I wrote 'The Third Wheel' in 2006, and it was my first angst fic ever — so please, have mercy. I only translated this in English because it serves as a prequel to my multi-chapter fic 'Without Grace'. Embedded in this story, there are translated lyrics from a Finnish song 'Voisiko olla tänään se päivä' by 51koodia (link to the translation in my profile, though, I chanced 'two words' into 'three words' all by myself). Thanks to insatiable for her beta help!

This story is translated from Finnish. There's a link to the original fic 'Kolmas pyörä' in my profile.

**Disclaimer! J.K. Rowling owns the Potters, not me. I'm just playing with them. The band '51koodia' owns their song, not me. Don't sue!**

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><p><em>~.~.~<em>

**The Third Wheel**

_~.~.~_

_So, when did everything change into my own non-transparent dark world  
>Through the haze of hatred, I cannot see faith, I cannot see hope or the third one<br>Is it so hard for me to be similar  
>Only two words could maybe fix everything<em>

_~o~_

I'm staring at you while you stand at the altar, holding hands with your loved one. You beam and wave to your family, to your friends. By your side, your wife sparkles her own light, and you lean down to kiss her cheek.

The crowd cheers.

You look at me, bewildered, blushing because of the attention but being never quite able to survive without it. You glance at your wife again, squeeze her hand, smiling warmly. You are in love.

My gaze follows you as you walk along the isle, still holding hands. Married. My face shows joy but my heart feels heavy; so heavy that I have to square my shoulders to keep on standing.

Nevertheless, I wink from side to side as I follow you with Ginny. She slips her small hand around my arm and smiles at me.

I look at her but see only you. She has the same features as you, and I wonder when I finally realised that I don't love her. Yesterday? After our first kiss? Too late, that's certain.

And, when did I realise that I love you? Ages ago.

Why didn't I do anything about it? Because I wanted to stay by your side, to watch your back. Enjoy your company, and treasure our friendship. I didn't want you to look at me like I'm something strange, something to loath. I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want to be the one to break up our trio but I should have known; nothing good lasts forever, no friendship survives a lifetime unchanged.

You two found each other right from the beginning. You were always there for me. You were the two supporting pillars that kept me going. After a while, though, I realised that I only needed one pillar.

You were the one who mattered.

_~o~_

_Could today be the day when I say I love you_

_Could today be the day when I say I love you_

_~o~_

I drink too much punch and sit crumbled on the chair, not wanting to dance even if Ginny asks me to. I just drink and stare. Clearly, that catches your attention because you come and sit by my side, loosening your tie. Your eyes stay focused on your wife who dances with your brother.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" You say, and keep on staring.

"Yes, beautiful," I reply and stare, too — at you.

I want to scream, to grab your chin and make you to see me! I am here! Me! Not Hermione, not Ginny, but me, Harry. Your best friend.

_I_ was there when you cried for your brothers. _I_ know when there's something wrong with you. _I_love you so bloody much it hurts!

My thoughts quiet, and I stare at my hands, writhing on my lap. Should I say something? I glance at you and wonder if I have a chance. Then, my stare falls on your hand in which there is a brand new, golden ring glittering.

And I realise I've already lost.

"Well, Harry. I believe my little sister is waiting patiently for her turn. Have a good night!" You say and slam your hand on my knee. You grab me with your other arm, hugging me with manly manners.

I hold on to your jacket and press my face against your shoulder. I sob but the music is too loud for you to hear it. You let go of me but I keep on hugging you for a glorious while. Finally, I loosen my grip and lean back.

You squeeze my hand with a peculiar expression on your face.

"Hey, cheer up! It's suppose to be a happy occasion."

I look at you and try to smile.

"Congrats, buddy. You got the best."

Your smile falters, your gaze drops to your knees, and your hands rise to tighten your tie.

"I'm going to dancing. Why don't you come, too?"

You get up and go to find your wife. I stay and watch you leave.

_~o~_

_So I say goodbye, I have to go I can't stay here_

_For a second anymore, at you my friend_

_My place is not here anymore, my time is not now, adversial I leave_

_Only three words could maybe fix everything_

_~o~_

I walk away from the party. My feet protest but I force them to carry on, to take me away. My place is not here. This celebration, this happiness is not for me.

I am pushed away, cast aside, abandoned.

I leave and do not return. The music quiets down as the distance increases. It is time for me to find my own life, to forget the past. To bury my childhood and grow up. To be silent even if the words burn on my tongue.

For here, I'm just the third wheel.

_~o~_

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><p><strong>End Notes:<strong>

There's a multi-chapter sequel available, too: 'Without Grace'. Reviews are love \o/


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